I had a 1st grade class a couple weeks ago. Those are always fun. You get a wide variety of kids in that age bracket who say and do some adorable and unintentionally hilarious things. And sometimes they're not so adorable or hilarious. Sometimes, its a good mixture, such as this case:
The Good
I had had this class before for 2 days, so I was a little familiar with how the class ran and who the kids were, which is always a plus. Most kids are still learning to sit on their bottoms and raise their hands and walk in line, but this class as a whole wasn't too bad (besides the one girl who I had to tell 3 times in 2 minutes to face forward in line because the line kept leaving without her).
Speaking of walking in line, usually whenever I see 2 students walking next to each other, I inform one that he or she is "next to the line, not in the line." In one instance, however, I saw two 1st grade boys standing next to each other holding hands. I almost said something but then I saw how ridiculously, amazingly, unbelievably cute it was, and I let it slide. I had a brief thought that I could kidnap the two and raise them as my own twin sons because of how adorable the pair was. I quickly talked myself out of it because I would probably be fired, and it might be slightly suspicious if I, a single black man, all of a sudden had white twin boys that looked nothing alike.
The Bad
For every pair that I want to adopt, there's that one who I want to give back to his parents ASAP. In this class, it was Cliff*. The very last thing on my lesson plans told me, "Cliff can be a handfull. Keep an eye on him." And, oh my man, was Cliff a handfull. After the bajillionth time of telling him to stay in his seat, get to work, stay focused, etc., he tells me that he forgot to take his brown pill. Oh, boy. I call the nurse to see if they have extra "brown pills" on hand (I don't really know what the law is concerning that kind of thing) and they tell me that they'll call Grandma to see if she can bring some and they'll call when she gets here, kthanksbye.
Cliff asked me several times throughout the day if the nurse had called back yet. I assured him that he wasn't the only one who wanted him to take his pill and that id let him know immediately.
On a side note, I was able to pull him away from the rest of the class and explain to him that he wasn't in trouble. I just wanted to make sure he wasn't distracting the other students. He seemed to understand and cooperate.
The Ugly
Every once in a while, there's a real special case that I just can't handle. In this case, it was Gilbert. At this school, they provide breakfast in the classroom. I had to choose some students to take the empty crate back to the cafeteria. Gilbert asked if he could do it, but he had another classroom job, so I chose other people. Gilbert was not okay with this. He started crying. And wouldn't stop. I feel like I'm pretty alright when it comes to calming crying children, but he was inconsolible. No matter what I said, he just kept crying. And loudly. The other students kept asking, "Why is Gilbert crying," to which I responded, "Don't worry about him. Let's get back to work."
How long could he sit and cry over something so trivial? I can't answer how long he could, but I can tell you how long he did: almost an hour. When it came time for us to take a spelling test, I told him he either needed to stop or he'd have to leave the classroom because he was too distracting.
I eventually called the office because he was not moving from his seat. One of the office ladies actually had to pick him up and carry him to the office (making this the second, but not last, time a child had to be carried out on my watch). I got a call from the office not too long after saying that the poor darling was going home. I obviously couldn't have known that he would react like that, otherwise I would have let him take the breakfast crate back, but I felt sorry that he felt so upset over it (I'm assuming there are probably deeper issues however).
Class dismissed
Showing posts with label elementary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label elementary. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Monday, September 2, 2013
1st graders are bad at math
I had a first grade class for two days this week, which left me with these precious moments:
Blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy: I'm Mexican.
Another kid: Me too. Do you know how to say taco in Spanish? Burrito!
Me: Class, what's a foal?
Boy: It's a baby pony!
Girl: No, it's a baby horse. A pony gots the horn on its head.
We were working on a fun little activity called "Everyone is Special." On the first page they were to write their name and than finish the line, "I am...."
The blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy from before wrote, "I am fragool." (At first I thought he was trying to write "frugal," but he said it's "fragile." I wasn't expecting a first grader to use either to describe himself.) I asked him what was another thing that he could put. His response: "I am... cute?" Well, there's no arguing that one.
I gave them a pretty tough math problem one day: There are 9 apples in a tree. If 3 of them fall out, how many are left?
One kid was very adamant that it was 7, despite everyone else saying it was 6, including me. He showed me on his hands. He put up 5 fingers on one hand and 4 on the other. When he put his 3 middle fingers down, he brought his thumb up, giving him 7. It took a while to explain to him why that was wrong.
The math problem the next day was just as hard: my mom made 12 cookies. My sister ate 7 of them. How many cookies are left for me?
I asked one kid what his answer was and how he got it.
"5?"
"How did you get that?"
"7?"
"How did you get that?"
"7!"
"7 is not an answer to how you solved your problem."
This one took a while as well.
Class dismissed!
Blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy: I'm Mexican.
Another kid: Me too. Do you know how to say taco in Spanish? Burrito!
Me: Class, what's a foal?
Boy: It's a baby pony!
Girl: No, it's a baby horse. A pony gots the horn on its head.
We were working on a fun little activity called "Everyone is Special." On the first page they were to write their name and than finish the line, "I am...."
The blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy from before wrote, "I am fragool." (At first I thought he was trying to write "frugal," but he said it's "fragile." I wasn't expecting a first grader to use either to describe himself.) I asked him what was another thing that he could put. His response: "I am... cute?" Well, there's no arguing that one.
I gave them a pretty tough math problem one day: There are 9 apples in a tree. If 3 of them fall out, how many are left?
One kid was very adamant that it was 7, despite everyone else saying it was 6, including me. He showed me on his hands. He put up 5 fingers on one hand and 4 on the other. When he put his 3 middle fingers down, he brought his thumb up, giving him 7. It took a while to explain to him why that was wrong.
The math problem the next day was just as hard: my mom made 12 cookies. My sister ate 7 of them. How many cookies are left for me?
I asked one kid what his answer was and how he got it.
"5?"
"How did you get that?"
"7?"
"How did you get that?"
"7!"
"7 is not an answer to how you solved your problem."
This one took a while as well.
Class dismissed!
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Kids say the racistest things! (S1E2)
I thought about just adding this on to the previous post, since no one would notice because no one reads this blog (yet), but this deserves its own post. (Plus I can turn "Kids say the racistest things!" into a series)
I was walking through the halls after having dropped my 6th grade class off at the computer lab. This would be a good time to pick up some food, since I packed my lunch and left it in the fridge at home (for the second day in a row, 'cause I'm awesome). As I was walking to my car, I hear a tiny voice behind me. I didn't know this kid. I still don't. We didn't really converse. Our paths crossed and probably won't ever again. And so, it will be written in the history books that only three words were exchanged between me and this child:
"Whoa! You refer to me by my race, and then wave at me, like I'm supposed to wave back?!" I mean, yeah, I am black, but you don't call people by their skin color. So what did I do? In a strange mixture of defiance and bewilderment, I refused to wave back. That'll show him! I bet he'll remember that the next time he wants to call someone "black man" instead of "sir."
Ok, so I didn't use it as a moment to defy the blatant racism or to (God forbid) teach this kid that that's not how you acknowledge people, but I was in such a state of shock that he so innocently called a (black) spade a (black) spade.
Class dismissed!
I was walking through the halls after having dropped my 6th grade class off at the computer lab. This would be a good time to pick up some food, since I packed my lunch and left it in the fridge at home (for the second day in a row, 'cause I'm awesome). As I was walking to my car, I hear a tiny voice behind me. I didn't know this kid. I still don't. We didn't really converse. Our paths crossed and probably won't ever again. And so, it will be written in the history books that only three words were exchanged between me and this child:
"Hi, black man."I couldn't believe what I had just heard. I turned around slowly to see a little boy, probably in kindergarten, wave at me.
"Whoa! You refer to me by my race, and then wave at me, like I'm supposed to wave back?!" I mean, yeah, I am black, but you don't call people by their skin color. So what did I do? In a strange mixture of defiance and bewilderment, I refused to wave back. That'll show him! I bet he'll remember that the next time he wants to call someone "black man" instead of "sir."
Ok, so I didn't use it as a moment to defy the blatant racism or to (God forbid) teach this kid that that's not how you acknowledge people, but I was in such a state of shock that he so innocently called a (black) spade a (black) spade.
Class dismissed!
Monday, April 29, 2013
Watch what's gone happen!
When dealing with elementary kids, I threaten to take away their recess, which to kids is like saying, "I'm going to give you bacon that tastes like lima beans."
This 3rd grade class just would not shut up (if you're a 3rd grade teacher or know a 3rd grader or own a 3rd grader, you know how this goes). So I told them that if they continued, I'd start taking minutes off their recess, doing my standard procedure.
This girl in the back didn't say anything, but the face she made said everything that needed to be said.
She made a face that said, "I know this fool ain't talking to us! Who does he think he is? Shoooot. He think he can take away our recess and get away with it. Substitutes be trippin'. Take away our recess, watch what's gone happen!"
It was precious.
Class dismissed!
This 3rd grade class just would not shut up (if you're a 3rd grade teacher or know a 3rd grader or own a 3rd grader, you know how this goes). So I told them that if they continued, I'd start taking minutes off their recess, doing my standard procedure.
This girl in the back didn't say anything, but the face she made said everything that needed to be said.
She made a face that said, "I know this fool ain't talking to us! Who does he think he is? Shoooot. He think he can take away our recess and get away with it. Substitutes be trippin'. Take away our recess, watch what's gone happen!"
It was precious.
Class dismissed!
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Breakdown week
I had a week that had some fairly bad student breakdowns, which wasn't as fun as the other lighthearted posts.
Monday, I had a kindergarten class. Whenever kids run inside the classroom (which is all the freaking time), I ask the students to go back to where they were and walk next time. No biggie. Nothing too bad. But one kid, let's call him Carl, for some reason wouldn't do this. It was more than just, "No, I'm gonna run if I want to and there's nothing you can do about it!" He just would not listen at all. I had to get another teacher to come and get him and she had to literally pick him up and carry him out of the room. I have no idea what Carl's problem was.
And then, there was Tuesday. 3rd grade. This girl, we'll call her Amanda, was very disruptive and not paying attention in class at all. She decided to play around in class (and hit other students while she was at it). I told her (like I tell all elementary classes) that playing is for recess, and if they want to use my class time for recess, I will use their recess time for class. She didn't like that. Not. One. Bit. When I told her she had to sit out from recess, she reacted like I told her her parents had died and she had to go back to kindergarten as a result. While the class was walking to the playground, she threw herself on the ground and started crying and saying, "I hate my life!" Now, for those of you who don't know, recess is 15 minutes for kids to play. 15 minutes. This girl was freaking out over a quarter of an hour. And she was arguing with me and talking back on top of that. And, out of nowhere, she said that people treat her like she's "retarded." I never said, nor would I ever say, anything like that.* Finally, I told her that if she didn't listen that I was going to send her to the office. I gave her three seconds to comply with a request (to scoot over and make room for another student on the bench, of all things), which she refused to do, so I sent her to the alternative learning center for the rest of the day. On the way back from recess (this was obviously a very long 15 minutes), another student kept arguing with me, so I sent him too. I really hate it when students talk back.
Which brings me to Wednesday. Wednesday should have been a breeze. I had a 5th grade class with a student teacher. I got into the classroom and the student teacher said that her class was usually wonderful. I was very grateful for a reprieve from the madness that was Monday and Tuesday.
Until they told me another sub didn't show. So I was being moved to a 6th grade class, and I got to experience the second worst elementary class ever (the absolute worst I'll have to save for another post). This class also had a student teacher, but she did not have any control over these hooligans. I felt bad for her because she was getting observed, and I can't imagine she got a good grade.
When I first got to the class, the announcements were on and they were about to go to Spanish. On our way out, the student teacher tells me that there's a girl in the classroom, who we'll call Lisa, who refuses to listen to her because she's not the teacher. I go in and see that she's freaking out because someone stole her Spanish folder (read: she lost her Spanish folder), and as she storms out the room, she lets me and Ms. Student Teacher know that if she gets sent back, it's our fault. I tell her that I wasn't the one who lost her materials and she starts yelling at me, which earns her a trip to the office. I've never had to send someone to the office 3 minutes into class. Wow.
When they get back, I monitor the class while she "teaches" and Lisa comes back. The office said she's never acted like that and it was probably just a fluke, which I was willing to accept (not that I really had any choice). Lisa actually proves to be quite helpful for most of the remainder of the day. Another student, however (let's say his name is James), was inspired by Lisa and decided to take it to the next step. James was the dominant one of a pair of students, the submissive we'll call John. They went into another classroom where they were told they were not supposed to go, and instead of saying, "I'm sorry, Mr. Jefferson, we will return to the classroom and behave like we should," James decided to argue with me about... really about a whole lot of stupid things that didn't concern him. And John just stood there. I told them to get back in the classroom, and James refused until I told him I'd call the office and have them send someone. And I hate that that's exactly what I had to do. John I think realized that it would be stupid to follow James in his bold defiance, because he came in and took his seat, which wasn't a very difficult task.
Fast forward to later when the student teacher had to leave and I took over the class for the rest of the day. Lisa asks if she can go to the bathroom. I say no because we came from lunch recess like 10 minutes prior. She started walking out despite not having permission, and I told her to sit down. She started yelling at me. I told her that she could go to the bathroom on her way to the office. She all of a sudden refused to go. Without the student teacher to call the office for me, and without the extension to the office, I had to talk to the teacher next door. While my back was turned to the class, they went nuts. The other teacher I was talking to saw it, and grabbed 2 of my students to take them to the office (neither of those students was a surprise).
So that was 4 students going to the office a total of 5 times in 6.5 hours. Granted, these were more blowups than breakdowns, but good gracious, what a terrible day (preceded by a pretty strange 2 days to say the least). At least the rest of the week was much better. I don't think I could've taken another day like that one.
Class Dismissed! (Thank God)
*While I am far from a doctor, this overreaction was, needless to say, inappropriate for a 3rd grader and did make me think that she had some kind of special needs.
Monday, I had a kindergarten class. Whenever kids run inside the classroom (which is all the freaking time), I ask the students to go back to where they were and walk next time. No biggie. Nothing too bad. But one kid, let's call him Carl, for some reason wouldn't do this. It was more than just, "No, I'm gonna run if I want to and there's nothing you can do about it!" He just would not listen at all. I had to get another teacher to come and get him and she had to literally pick him up and carry him out of the room. I have no idea what Carl's problem was.
And then, there was Tuesday. 3rd grade. This girl, we'll call her Amanda, was very disruptive and not paying attention in class at all. She decided to play around in class (and hit other students while she was at it). I told her (like I tell all elementary classes) that playing is for recess, and if they want to use my class time for recess, I will use their recess time for class. She didn't like that. Not. One. Bit. When I told her she had to sit out from recess, she reacted like I told her her parents had died and she had to go back to kindergarten as a result. While the class was walking to the playground, she threw herself on the ground and started crying and saying, "I hate my life!" Now, for those of you who don't know, recess is 15 minutes for kids to play. 15 minutes. This girl was freaking out over a quarter of an hour. And she was arguing with me and talking back on top of that. And, out of nowhere, she said that people treat her like she's "retarded." I never said, nor would I ever say, anything like that.* Finally, I told her that if she didn't listen that I was going to send her to the office. I gave her three seconds to comply with a request (to scoot over and make room for another student on the bench, of all things), which she refused to do, so I sent her to the alternative learning center for the rest of the day. On the way back from recess (this was obviously a very long 15 minutes), another student kept arguing with me, so I sent him too. I really hate it when students talk back.
Which brings me to Wednesday. Wednesday should have been a breeze. I had a 5th grade class with a student teacher. I got into the classroom and the student teacher said that her class was usually wonderful. I was very grateful for a reprieve from the madness that was Monday and Tuesday.
Until they told me another sub didn't show. So I was being moved to a 6th grade class, and I got to experience the second worst elementary class ever (the absolute worst I'll have to save for another post). This class also had a student teacher, but she did not have any control over these hooligans. I felt bad for her because she was getting observed, and I can't imagine she got a good grade.
When I first got to the class, the announcements were on and they were about to go to Spanish. On our way out, the student teacher tells me that there's a girl in the classroom, who we'll call Lisa, who refuses to listen to her because she's not the teacher. I go in and see that she's freaking out because someone stole her Spanish folder (read: she lost her Spanish folder), and as she storms out the room, she lets me and Ms. Student Teacher know that if she gets sent back, it's our fault. I tell her that I wasn't the one who lost her materials and she starts yelling at me, which earns her a trip to the office. I've never had to send someone to the office 3 minutes into class. Wow.
When they get back, I monitor the class while she "teaches" and Lisa comes back. The office said she's never acted like that and it was probably just a fluke, which I was willing to accept (not that I really had any choice). Lisa actually proves to be quite helpful for most of the remainder of the day. Another student, however (let's say his name is James), was inspired by Lisa and decided to take it to the next step. James was the dominant one of a pair of students, the submissive we'll call John. They went into another classroom where they were told they were not supposed to go, and instead of saying, "I'm sorry, Mr. Jefferson, we will return to the classroom and behave like we should," James decided to argue with me about... really about a whole lot of stupid things that didn't concern him. And John just stood there. I told them to get back in the classroom, and James refused until I told him I'd call the office and have them send someone. And I hate that that's exactly what I had to do. John I think realized that it would be stupid to follow James in his bold defiance, because he came in and took his seat, which wasn't a very difficult task.
Fast forward to later when the student teacher had to leave and I took over the class for the rest of the day. Lisa asks if she can go to the bathroom. I say no because we came from lunch recess like 10 minutes prior. She started walking out despite not having permission, and I told her to sit down. She started yelling at me. I told her that she could go to the bathroom on her way to the office. She all of a sudden refused to go. Without the student teacher to call the office for me, and without the extension to the office, I had to talk to the teacher next door. While my back was turned to the class, they went nuts. The other teacher I was talking to saw it, and grabbed 2 of my students to take them to the office (neither of those students was a surprise).
So that was 4 students going to the office a total of 5 times in 6.5 hours. Granted, these were more blowups than breakdowns, but good gracious, what a terrible day (preceded by a pretty strange 2 days to say the least). At least the rest of the week was much better. I don't think I could've taken another day like that one.
Class Dismissed! (Thank God)
*While I am far from a doctor, this overreaction was, needless to say, inappropriate for a 3rd grader and did make me think that she had some kind of special needs.
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