Kids say the racistest things! (S1E2)

I thought about just adding this on to the previous post, since no one would notice because no one reads this blog (yet), but this deserves its own post. (Plus I can turn "Kids say the racistest things!" into a series)

I was walking through the halls after having dropped my 6th grade class off at the computer lab. This would be a good time to pick up some food, since I packed my lunch and left it in the fridge at home (for the second day in a row, 'cause I'm awesome). As I was walking to my car, I hear a tiny voice behind me. I didn't know this kid. I still don't. We didn't really converse. Our paths crossed and probably won't ever again. And so, it will be written in the history books that only three words were exchanged between me and this child:

"Hi, black man."

 I couldn't believe what I had just heard. I turned around slowly to see a little boy, probably in kindergarten, wave at me.

"Whoa! You refer to me by my race, and then wave at me, like I'm supposed to wave back?!" I mean, yeah, I am black, but you don't call people by their skin color. So what did I do? In a strange mixture of defiance and bewilderment, I refused to wave back. That'll show him! I bet he'll remember that the next time he wants to call someone "black man" instead of "sir."

Ok, so I didn't use it as a moment to defy the blatant racism or to (God forbid) teach this kid that that's not how you acknowledge people, but I was in such a state of shock that he so innocently called a (black) spade a (black) spade.

Class dismissed!

Kids say the racistest things!

There's a song in the wildly popular/inappropriate musical Avenue Q called "Everyone's A Little Bit Racist." Hang around children (or really anyone) and you'll see that that's true.

These are actual moments from my classrooms.

Non-Mexican student: "People always think I'm Mexican because of my last name."
Clueless White student: "What race are you?"
Non-Mexican student: "I'm Puerto Rican."
Clueless White student: "Isn't that the same thing?"
Me: *smh* (shake my head)
~~~~~~~~
White student: "Mr. Jefferson, are there white people in Africa?"
Me: "Yes."
Black student: "There are white people everywhere
White student: "That's racist."
Black student: "That's not racist. It'd be racist if I said 'I don't like that there are white people everywhere.'"
Me: *nmh* (nod my head)
~~~~~~~~
White student: "They don't have a language in Africa. They just click and stuff. *starts clicking*
Me: *vsmhawmh* (violently shake my head and wave my hands) "You should never say that again. You'll sound stupid." (I didn't say that last part, but I wanted to)
~~~~~~~~
Curious student: "So... where are you from?"
Me: "Phoenix."
Curious student: "I mean, what country?"
Me: "America."
Curious student: "Where are your parents from?"
Me: "Arizona and California."
Curious student: *frustrated*
Me: *hhhiv* (hold head high in victory)
~~~~~~~~

Those were all from the same junior high. This next one's from my Sunday school class, free of charge.

Chinese girl: "Are you from Ethiopia."

This is a lot less offensive when you take into account that she is a) 6-years-old and 2) adopted into a family that also adopted a boy from Ethiopia. She just must have figured that since her brother is black and is from Ethiopia, this other black person must be from Ethiopia.

Class dismissed!

Bullies & Instigators

I always thought that I'd be the ultra-strict teacher who just wouldn't put up with any of the crap the kids give, but I've learned that a teacher has to be flexible. There are certain rules that we just kinda have to overlook, unfortunately. If, for example, I gave out a detention every time I heard a cuss word, we'd run out of paper. Unless it gets really bad, I mostly just correct students (you mean "shoot," right?) or tell them to watch their mouths.

Today, I told a kid to watch his mouth. This kid is kinda funny to me. I subbed for his math teacher, and he was a handful. He said that he had ADD and used that as an excuse. But in this class (American History), he's always working hard with the student next to him. It's night and day difference. It might be the subject. It might be the teacher (I haven't heard anything good from these kids about their math teacher). It might just be that he has history 1st hour and he gets crazy as the day progresses. Who knows? It doesn't really matter to me.

But I heard him swear in class, and I told him to watch his mouth. He was looking angrily at another kid. Usually, "Watch your mouth" gets them back on track, but not this time. This kid was pissed. From what I gathered, Payton* (the kid who did the cussing-out) did something to provoke Hans (the kid being cussed-out). Hans called Payton retarded. Payton apparently does not like being called retarded. At all. 

So I had to take off my teacher hat for a second and put on my cop/negotiator hat. They both wanted to keep going at it while I was trying to talk them down. Hans kept turning around and saying, "Don't dish it out if you can't take it." I told him he needed to hush his mouth and turn around. Meanwhile, I'm trying to calm Payton down. This kind of thing was not in the substitute handbook (was there a substitute handbook?), so I have to use my gut. I don't like taking sides, but it was obvious that Hans was just provoking Payton to piss him off, which pisses me off. I hate it when kids (people in general, really) find a nerve and intentionally strike it. That's weak. That's cowardly. That's just plain wrong. If I see this happen again tomorrow, Hans is gone. That type of nonsense doesn't belong in any classroom, and I won't allow it in any that I'm in.

Well, I have to play teacher/cop/negotiator/counselor/father/babysitter/whatever for one more day. I'm honestly gonna miss (some of) them. I kinda hope I get to teach some of them when I start teaching full-time. That would be really awesome. But until then,

Class dismissed!

*All names have been changed to protect the identities of the students